He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
