that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
