Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
