first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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