I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
