im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
