he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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