Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
