how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
