Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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