she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
