Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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