Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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