Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
