it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
