Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
