erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize