Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
