Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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