my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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