glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
