I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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