They should really pass out barf bags in church
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
