i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
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Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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