So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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