i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
