you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
