I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize