I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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