Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
