It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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