i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
