I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There r osticjed everywhere
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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