I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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