If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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