i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
