You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
