please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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