Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
