quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
