You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize