do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
