Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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