I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
