i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Such a big mess for such a small penis
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
