I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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