dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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