I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize