does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
