I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
