Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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