Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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