I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
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Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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