why didn't you poke me back
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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