i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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