This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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