as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
