All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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