nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
