i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
