it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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