I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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