Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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